TRANSMISSION 14

APRIL 21, 2025

Watching this video back feels surreal. Everything has happened so fast it's like I was swept up in a strong current. The pull into this new reality was strong and there was no stopping it.

On April 12, 2025, I drove myself from the high desert back to LA. I had spent a year out there healing with Mary (@m.a.r.y.e.v.a.n.s), an incredible artist and partner who helped me come back to life when I thought mine was over. We had decided to split up prior to my being asked to come work in the UK so the exit was bitter sweet. We held each other and cried with love and gratitude for our time together in the hot sand. I kissed Val (my little Chihuahua) goodbye knowing she’d be in good hands and headed out on the adventure of a lifetime. That night in LA, I went to dinner at my favorite restaurant The Prince and ate spicy chicken and kimchi friend rice with Red (@boypopmusic), Mich, and Adam (@transdudesofla). We finished the night back at Red’s apartment where Dasha (@dasha.r.german), Cori (@cori.xox), Babyghost (@babyghostmusic) and Zu (@zuzusauvage) ate fruit pizza and helped me make sure my bags weren’t too heavy. Honorable mention to Kingston (@peau.payow) who came to send me off to LAX the next morning in the same outfit he had worn to queer prom the night before. I have been really lucky to meet some incredible artists, DJs, fire benders and party promoters in LA and I will miss my queer and trans community there the most. Shout out to Dolly Spectra (@dollyspectra) and their show A/D/S/R (@adsr.o_o) which turned out to be my last live performance in the states before my move.

The flight out was uneventful (aside from the standard TSA pat-down) even with an “f” on my passport. I feel lucky this came when it did as tensions get higher and the future of my home country hangs in the balance. The UK isn’t a transgender paradise either but where can we feel safe in the world? Might as well keep grinding towards our visions of a better one wherever opportunity takes us.

I am in the middle of something massive. I've started working for one of my heroes chasing down the sparks we need to set the old world on fire. The world is devastatingly dark but the future we can build together is bright. I want to unleash ferocity in the face of fascism. They cannot and will not make us shrink. I've never been satisfied with playing small. Have you?

Some people will come along with me and others won't. That's what happens when you're doing something real.

This will be my first full week on Imogen's team here at The Round House. We are preparing for a livestream that is happening on April 24th. You might catch me in the background at some point so keep an eye out. It will be streaming on all her channels but here's a link to the YouTube:

IMOGEN HEAP'S YT: https://www.youtube.com/@imogenheap

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This opportunity is proof that you can lose everything (family, home, security) and rise up stronger for it. I am not playing the industry's game but I am building something so loud they can't ignore it. I am going to keep pushing for bigger and bigger stages until the frequencies make the foundations of the establishment crumble.

-XO FREAK

DARCHNERVE TEXT LINE: 323-657-3474